[ I Am Bengal II – Bengal Harder (Page
7) ]
Three games left in the season, then, with two of
them away from the Paul Brown. Next week is our last home game, entertaining the
woeful Houston Cattle, while the last matchup of our regular season sees us
travelling cross-state to face the Cleveland Oranges, seeking revenge for our
last game against them, the fabled Ohio
Oh-My-God-I-Don’t-Believe-What-Just-Happened. Before that, though, we have the
small matter of facing a team I personally despise from my old
expansion-franchise days, the 5-8 but ever-irritating Jacksonville Jaguars.
“This is another team who’re better than their record.”
You know, once, just once, I’d like to play someone who’s being flattered by
their results. Just for a change of pace. Where ARE all these Godlike teams
coming from?
“Not Cincinnati, that’s for sure. Brunell’s getting on a bit, but he’s still
a good pocket-passer and will get the ball to the target more often than he
doesn’t – the target most likely being Jimmy Smith, although Patrick Johnson and
the rookie tight end Tony Burns are both decent enough. It’s a good line,
although you maybe able to push rookie centre Mark McCoy around a bit. And you
know about Taylor...”
Oh yes. I know all about Fred Taylor. More than any other player when I was
playing as an expansion team in the AFC South, it was Fred flippin’ Taylor who
consistently, twice a year, regular as clockwork, made a monkey out of any
defence I put in front of him. He was worse than Edgerrin James, worse than B*tt*s,
worse than anyone. And now here he comes again, out of the mists, a ghost from
the past to haunt our playoff dreams...
“Do you need a moment to yourself or something?”
The horror... the horror...
“Uh... oooo-kay. Moving swiftly on – Jacksonville’s defence is good but not
great. They’ve a strong defensive line but, as is becoming a bit of a recurring
theme lately, not much speed at linebacker. Dan Graham’s probably in for a good
day. Look out for will ‘backer TJ Slaughter, though, he’ll eat up any run that’s
sent in his direction. The secondary is strong, the star being their top corner,
Bryan Frazier, who’s incredibly quick, although perhaps not quite so fast in and
out of cuts as Peter Warrick. Still, we’re likely to have a tough time throwing
deep, so try and make sure we don’t fall behind.”
Thanks. There’s a little nugget of tactical genius that wouldn’t ever have
occurred to me. “Try to score more points than the other team”...
The signs aren’t good. For a start, we have to kick the ball away to start the
game, which always makes me edgy, and as if that weren’t enough, the Jags are
showing signs of being the first team we’ve played all year who might be able to
get it done on the ground. 47 of the 79 yards on their initial drive are picked
up by Fred Taylor, although it’s the tight end, of course, who finishes things
off – Tony Burns taking the pass off a play-fake for the 2-yard touchdown.
Cripes. 7-0.
It’s vital that we get into our rhythm quickly, and CD does his bit to help,
taking a pitch right and steaming off down the sideline. Dillon lays out two
would-be tacklers with stiffarms, and gets knocked down by the third inside the
Jacksonville 30, a pickup of 44. Here we go...
Or maybe not. Three plays get us exactly nowhere, Stills shanks his kick and
Jacksonville put us back on the rack – 7 straight rushes by Taylor, then in
comes his backup, Elvis Joseph. Surely they won’t... oh, they will. Joseph
breaks a 46-yard TD run that silences the Bengalville crowd, and leaves us at
the bottom of a hole scrabbling to get out. JAC 14-0 CIN.
Damn, but we need a score. Dillon runs off-tackle left, off-tackle right then up
the gut for 20 yards total, and with the Jags back on their heels and thinking
run, we send Peter Warrick on a Z-out, his double-move buying him just enough
space over the damned-quick-in-a-straight-line CB Bryan Frazier to take the
catch, avoid Frazier’s tackle and break downfield for a 30-yard gain to the
Jacksonville 22. Been a while since we’ve run a play-pass, hasn’t it? Still a
bit jumpy, the linebackers bite on the fake like it’s the world’s biggest Deep
Pan Meat Feast (mmmm, Deep Pan Meat Feast...), Daniel Graham gets a five yard
head-start, takes the ball in-stride and there’s no-one that’s going to catch
him on his way into the corner to get us on the board. JAC 14-7 CIN.
On the upside, we don’t give up another big play. On the downside, we just can’t
stop that swine Taylor. They take their time, but they get there in the end. 75
yards, most of them on the ground against our league-best rushing defence. JAC
21-7 CIN. God’s sake.
Dillon, Warrick, Graham, Neal, Neal again from 2 yards. 21-14, heh. But it’s not
really the offence that’s worrying me...
And, on cue, we get a 3 and out at last, the hero of the hour being Willie
Middlebrooks, who gets a hand in the way on a rare pass to break up a certain
first-down pass. Away we go, for proper this time... for a while. Things get a
bit sticky as we approach the redzone, putting us in a 4th and 3 at the 23.
Decision time. I have to think, but not for long – with Lawrence Stills in
erratic mood, and the wind against us, we’re going to go for it and damn the
torpedoes. We’ve steered clear of milking the goose that lays the golden eggs,
so to speak, and so haven’t re-used the pitch right since the opening play of
the game... So we’re about due. CD heads for the outside flat-out, turns upfield
behind the block of Jason “Hardest-Working Rookie Wideout In Football” Harris,
shifts up a gear and in the blink of an eye he’s gone 23 yards untouched to put
us just a score in the red as time expires on the half... Oooh-er. Half-time,
JAC 21-14 CIN.
-
Whoops. Elementary maths mistake. 14 points plus a
touchdown is 21, of course, which means that we were, in fact, all tied up at
the end of the second quarter... as if to make up for my lack of arithmetic,
though, our offence comes out in full-on Keystone Kops mode, Akili Smith
stumbling about with a custard-pie in each hand as Jason Harris and Peter
Warrick carry a big pane of glass backward and forward along the line of
scrimmage and Corey Dillon puts a long plank of wood over one shoulder and
stands in the backfield making sharp turns... Long story short, we have to punt
it away, and once again it becomes abundantly clear that the Football Gods have
decided that Fred Taylor is going to be utterly unstoppable this afternoon,
breaking 4 tackles on his way to a 35-yard TD run. Damn... JAC 28-21 CIN,
honestly.
CD’s feeling frisky this afternoon, though, and Jacksonville are having about as
much luck stopping him as we’re having stopping Satan’s Second-In-Command, and
as it has so often this season, the run is setting up the pass. Peter Warrick,
having another big day, shows his gumption with a tough catch over the middle
then Dan Graham once again bamboozles the Jaguar linebackers to the tune of a
20-yard gain, stopped 4 yards from the goal-line... and not getting up. Oh,
cripes and criminy... With not a little concern, I watch one of only two
play-makers in my passing game being carted off. He raises his hand to
acknowledge the crowd’s ovation, but even at this distance he looks in pain.
God, God, God... Dillon levels the scores up again we get to six minutes left to
play, and this game’s still there for either team to win.
We’re not a big-blitzing team, as a rule, and when we do blitz, it’s normally
our linebackers who come. The Jaguars obviously have realised this, which is
probably why when I feel a bit fey and send nickelback Andre Dyson off the edge
he gets to Brunell untouched for the sack. Heh heh heh. The play seems to
discombobulate the Jacksonville line a little, and on the next down the
quarterback’s forced to use his safety-valve receiver for minimal gain, putting
them in a 3rd-and-long situation. For the third successive snap, Brunell feels
the heat and this time he puts the ball up toward Patrick Johnson, going deep
but covered well by sophomore free safety Lamont Thompson. Thompson tips the
pass, and rookie strong safety Hugh Langham, only in the game because Aric
Morris picked up a niggling injury the previous play, makes the pick, breaking a
couple of tackles to get back to midfield. Tom Coughlin, always graceful in the
face of adversity, screams blue murder, we scent blood and out go our offence,
sans Daniel Graham. The news has come through – a tear to his posterior cruciate
ligament, gone for 10 weeks. Disaster. Our second player in successive years to
be denied a Pro-Bowl spot because of an injury picked up at exactly the wrong
time and, more importantly, we’ve lost the man who’s consistently been the best
receiver in the team just as we reach the business end of the season.
No Chad Johnson, no Dan Graham, so we elect to put the game in the hands of our
best offensive player, period, and CD isn’t about to let us down. We’re running
the clock, not wanting to give Jacksonville a chance to get back into this,
grinding it down and forcing them to burn timeouts. Fittingly, it’s Dillon that
caps the drive, a slithering, elusive TD rush from the Jaguar 11, and so with
just 1:16 left to play the scoreline reads JAC 28-35 CIN.
We’ve barely stopped Jacksonville all day, though, and once again they get on
the drive, the Football Gods inexplicably supporting Coughlin’s team as they
fight to keep their season alive. With less than 20 seconds to play, they reach
our 11 and Brunell spikes the ball... 3 plays to take us to overtime, then...
Snap, quick drop, hits Tony Burns for the score... but there’s Bernardo Harris,
scourge of tight ends, walloping the rookie with such ferocity the ball flies
from his grasp and falls to the turf. The crowd are at fever-pitch, while I’m
just breathing a sigh of relief. 3rd down. Snap, quick drop, hits Tony Burns for
the score... and this time he hangs onto it. I sag, the fans sag, God dammit.
We’d better win the damned toss, that’s all I can say, because our chances of
stopping this lot from scoring in their first possession are zero. Out trots
rookie Jaret Holmes, the latest incumbent of Jacksonville’s merry-go-round
placekicker position, for the formality of the PAT. Snap’s good, hold’s good, up
goes the kick...
And back comes the kick.
Off.
The right.
Upright.
No good! No GOOD! Oh, how we laugh, and oh, what language spills from the Jaguar
sideline... For the second time this season, a game of ours is decided by an
improbable special-teams play inside the last few ticks of the clock. Destiny’s
team? You might just be looking at them. Final, hilarious score, JAC 34-35 CIN
in a game dominated by the running backs (CD and Taylor racking up 200 yards
apiece) and that, my friends, is 12-2.
...
Week 16, and our last home game of the regular
season, although should we successfully see off the lowly Houston
Excessively-Literal-Nicknames we would lock up home field advantage for the
playoffs. The Dubyas are coming into the game having so far set an awesome
season mark of 3-11 – but why? Why? God, WHY?
“Are you having another of your funny turns?”
Just get scouting. Go on, scouty! Scouty!
“The Texan offence looks pretty strong across the board – David Carr thinks
quickly and has a good arm, and his receiving corps is full of deep threats –
Jabar Gaffney, James Williams, Arion Black and Corey Bradford have all got
plenty of speed and the tight end, Billy Miller, is one of those irritating
players who’s too big to cover with a safety and too quick to cover with a
linebacker.”
Fan-frickin’-tastic.
“Jonathon Wells is a decent all-round back, but doesn’t stand out in any
area. The offensive line is patchy, book-end tackles but less strong up the gut.
We have to find pressure from somewhere, because given enough time the wideouts
will get behind our coverage and Carr
will find them. Other than that...
there’s not too much to fear, here.”
Magic.
“The Texan defence still looks like a work-in-progress, which is odd after
the amount of cap-room that Dom Capers sunk into building a strong defence right
from the get-go. Like us, they play a 3-4 and, like us, they have a strong set
of linebackers – Jamie Sharper is going to the Pro-Bowl, and will ‘backer Shane
Emmanuel is a lock for this season’s Defensive Rookie Of The Year award, the
pick of this team’s five rookie defensive starters.”
Five?
“Five. With Aaron Glenn’s retirement, the Houston secondary looks patchy –
Glenn’s fellow ex-Jet, Marcus Coleman, is the glue that holds them together, but
there are plenty of holes that you should be able to exploit – particularly at
free safety, where the Texans are down to their third string. All in all, and I
realise you haven’t heard this too often this year, this team are just not quite
as good as we are. Even with Dan Graham out and Chad Johnson still a little
gimpy, you should take this pretty comfortably.”
This is another of those “no pressure, then?” situations, isn’t it? In other
news, the Cincinnati Bengals are sending no fewer than 5 players to the 2004 Pro
Bowl. On offence - Akili Smith and Corey Dillon will start as the AFC’s
quarterback and halfback respectively, Lorenzo Neal goes as backup fullback,
even after what was an indifferent season compared to last year, and Peter
Warrick will make the journey having come on late after a slow start to the
season. In addition, for the second year on the bounce we’re sending a rookie to
Hawaii, with cornerback Jon “Prime-Time” Crane selected as a kick-returner. Also
for the second year running, injury robs a Bengal of a Pro-Bowl spot that they
were a stone-cold lock for – Akili Smith last season, Daniel Graham this.
-
We’re forced to kick the ball away – a bad omen to
my superstitious mind. On the game’s first play, David Carr feels Sam Adams
coming and, seeing tight coverage, dumps it off to his outlet, Jonathon Wells –
who’s obviously not quite ready for it. The pass bounces off his hands, and
strong safety Aric Morris, who had just this week signed a revised contract to
keep him in Cincinnati for at least another 3 years, comes swooping in to scoop
the ball up from bootlace-height and break away, returning the pick 25 yards for
the game’s opening score, the crowd going absolutely nuts.
Like I say... kick away to start, bad omen.
The Dubya’s offence is a little more effective in their next series, in that
they don’t actually give me any points, but they can’t budge the ball so much as
an inch, either. Away they punt, toward the solitary, brooding figure of
Jonathon Crane, playing the first game since receiving the highest honour of his
career so far... who promptly spills the first fumble of his career and watches
it returned inside our 10. 3 plays later, Wells goes over to level up the
scores, and it’s all gone quiet in the stands.
Like I say... kick away to start, bad omen.
Tight end Daniel Graham is out for the foreseeable future, and while Junior
Rocket-Man Chad Johnson is back in the lineup for the first time after straining
a quad in the game against Pittsburgh in Week 11, he’s still not quite at 100%.
So the incredibly elaborate plan for the opening drive is to keep the ball in
the hands of the two most reliable players we have left – Peter Warrick, whose
fondness for making tough catches over the middle serves us well yet again, and,
of course, m’man CD, who’s taking the young Houston defence to school. A
bulldozing 13-yard run on 2nd and 10 sees us camped at the
Unimaginative-Nicknames’ 5-yard line, but the moment as Corey turns his back for
one play, someone steals his touchdown – rookie Adam Smith’s diminutive size
seems to make the Houston defence completely lose track of him as he squirts
through a gap in the line and dances in to put us back in the lead – HOU 7-14
CIN.
The Dubyas finally get something going without our help, a long, slow, tedious
drive that’s halted in our red-zone by Brian Simmons and Aric Morris stopping
Wells for a loss on consecutive plays. Kris Brown, a refugee from Bill Cowher’s
intolerance of inconsistent placekickers, slots the short field goal, and the
lead is down to four.
Chad Johnson gets into the game on the third snap of the subsequent drive, and
it’s an exquisitely Johnson-esque play – outrunning the nickel-back assigned to
him out of the slot, then gliding across the front of a safety who’s not certain
whether he should be covering Johnson or Peter Warrick’s fly pattern. Akili airs
it out, and hits his man in-stride, the receiver finally being dragged down
after a 35-yard catch and run – 1st and 10 at the Houston 28. This time, it’s
back to Warrick, who drags across the line of scrimmage, hovers for a moment to
take the short pass then spins away and is gone, beating the desperately
backpeddling Texans to the left corner of the endzone... HOU 10-21 CIN.
The Come-On-Seriously-Couldn’t-You-Think-Of-Anything-Betters have looked pretty
tentative on offence so far, and manage just one first down before their drive
stalls around halfway, Simmons once again being the man on the spot to stop
Jonathon Wells stretching to convert a 3rd down. The punt is excellent, though,
angling out of bounds inside our 5, putting us in the shadow of our goalposts
with four minutes left in the half. Never one to be scared of the obvious play,
we give the ball to Corey Dillon who buys us some space with a slashing run for
1st down at the 14, but the Texans are determined to pin us deep, and two plays
later we face 3rd and 6. It’s a blitz! The free safety sneaks to the line and
goes all-out for the quarterback... as Peter Warrick angles into the gap where
the safety ought to have been, brings the ball in and is only dragged down after
a 30-yard gain. A short catch by Matt Schobel, the 3rd-year tight end starting
in Dan Graham’s place, then a Chad Johnson drop puts us once again at
3rd-and-midrange at the Houston 46. Give the Dubyas credit, they learn from
their mistake and don’t come, dropping seven players to cover four wide
receivers, and they do a good job, there being not so much as half-a-yard of
space as all four wideouts flood the left side of the field... on the other
hand, the right sideline sees Corey Dillon setting yet another world record for
Most Insanely Wide-Open Receiver, the Texans inexplicably losing track of our
best offensive player to the extent that there is not a defender within
literally 20 yards as CD takes the catch at the 37 and goes untouched the rest
of the way to the endzone. Dillon’s longest reception of the year, and he’ll
never have an easier one. HOU 10-28 CIN.
The second quarter peters out with an exchange of interceptions – Carr getting
panicky under fire and lofting a bomb that flies right over James Williams and
into FS Lamont Thompson’s waiting arms, and Akili Smith performing his old trick
of aiming for a man on a square-out and not looking to see if there’s anyone
lurking in the lane underneath the pattern. We hold, though, and the score at
halftime remains a comfortable-looking HOU 10-28 CIN.
-
It looks like we’re going to be coming back to the
Paul Brown at least once more this year – all we need to do is hold our nerve in
the second half. The Bengalville faithful know it, too, the crowd coming to
their feet to greet us as we head out onto the hallowed turf for the re-start.
For a moment it looks like Crane’s going to break yet another big return, but a
despairing last-ditch tackle cuts him down at our 35, and we’re good to go.
Three Dillon rushes pick up a total of 30 yards, then with the run firmly
established, we go play-action... forgetting that Matt Schobel is not Daniel
Graham. He doesn’t manage to outrun his linebacker, Akili forces it anyway...
painfully predictable pick. Damn. Maybe this isn’t cut-and-dried just yet...
Our defence, though, is still playing strong, and once again stops the
Stating-The-Obvious around halfway. This time the punt rolls into the endzone,
and we’re off again. The drive’s big play sees Warrick going over the middle –
where he’s been so often this afternoon he’s actually worn a groove in the field
– to take a tough catch in traffic to extend the drive on 3rd and 17. For the
second time today, Dillon does the bulk of the work, and Adam Smith steals the
touchdown to pretty much sew this one up... surely? HOU 10-35 CIN.
We’re ready to put this one in the defence’s hands. They hold the Dubyas to
another 3 and out, and looking ahead to the playoffs, we pull Akili Smith and
Corey Dillon, giving 3rd-string QB Michael Bishop a rare chance to show what he
can do... and what he can do, obviously, is become the second quarterback today
to throw an interception while looking for Chad Johnson on an out-pattern. Damn.
Houston manage to go the 30 yards they need for the touchdown – but it takes
them 12 plays and more than two and a half minutes, leaving just 3:15 on the
clock with the score HOU 17-35 CIN.
Houston’s last hope fades when their onside kick dribbles out of bounds. We
exchange touchdowns in garbage-time (rookie Jason Harris catching Bishop’s first
TD pass as a Bengal, a 28-yard catch-and-run), but in truth the game’s been over
for a while. Final score, then, HOU 24-42 CIN, our record goes to 13-2 and that,
my friends, is home field advantage for the duration of the playoffs. Not one
Bengal fan has left the stadium, and the team take a lap of honour to a standing
ovation – well-deserved, having brought playoff football to Cincinnati for the
first time in a decade...
Nice and smooth.
...
Last week of the regular season, and there’s a part
of me that’s very, very pleased that we don’t need to go to Cleveland and get a
result from the Oranges. In the home fixture we used up about a decade’s worth
of luck, and I’m pretty sure that they’re not going to want to win at any cost –
particularly since at 9-6, the Oranges are still well in the hunt for a
wild-card spot.
“You wanted some good news? Here’s some good news – Cleveland's starting
tailback, William Green, is out with a dodgy ankle. James Jackson will play in
his place – he’s got all Green’s power, but doesn’t have breakaway speed.”
Eight men in the box all game, then.
“Whoa, easy, tiger. Just in case you don’t remember, the main thing
Cleveland’s offence has going for it is a ludicrous number of quick wideouts. Do
you remember how many passing yards they racked up at the Paul Brown?”
No, most of that game is still a blur...
“Well, think of a big number and add a zero on the end. They put more points
on us than any team we’ve played this season, and that defence still looks
absolutely top-drawer – they all run fast and hit hard. It’s a damned good thing
that we’ve already taken the top seed, because I really don’t fancy our chances
much in their backyard.”
I’m torn. Should I rest my starters on offence? Akili has had a great year, but
he’s something of a glass jaw and the last thing I need is to lose him on the
eve of the playoffs. CD’s less injury-prone but would leave a much bigger void
if anything should happen and, of course, my receiving corps is already feeling
the pain, with Dan Graham gone for the season – if he were joined by Peter
Warrick, or the just-off-the-physio-table Chad Johnson, we’d really be running
uphill toward the Big Show...
On the other hand, this is the Oranges. The defenders of all that’s
unholy. The Bengalville faithful would never forgive me if I waved the white
flag and didn’t even have a token attempt at winning the game. Plus, with the
bye week, were I to keep Akili and the rest out of the action, the divisional
play-off round would be their first meaningful game in three weeks...
So. Give the starters the first half, or until we rack up an unassailable lead,
whatever comes first. And cross my fingers and pray that nothing serious happens
to anyone irreplaceable...
“Ten bucks says it’s halftime that comes first.”
Shut up.
-
So. My mind’s barely half on the job, as I’m running
about the sideline trying to find out if it’s legal to put extra pads on my
running-back... and maybe a suit of armour. And send a bodyguard or two out with
him... and my mood of gathering doom isn’t helped much when we lose the toss and
have to boot the ball away.
We have to kick. We’re doomed.
Defences are dominant to start with, both teams going three-and-out on their
opening possession, exceptional linebacker play to the fore for either side –
Brian Simmons running the show for us, while Cleveland are one of very few
defences who have been able to keep CD contained this year. Irritatingly, what
should have been a no-score draw in the initial skirmishes actually becomes
advantage: Oranges when Nick Harris shanks his punt horribly and hands Cleveland
the ball on our 45. Gawd demmit. They make us pay, taking their time, with that
irritatingly Pittsburgh-y habit of letting us get them to third-and-long, then
converting without breaking a sweat. On 3rd and goal, Tim Couch gets all kinds
of time, and eventually finds one of his Elite Wide-Receiver Corps hanging
around the back of the endzone like he’s waiting for a train, someone, somewhere
having blown his responsibility in coverage. Gawd demmit again. CIN 0-7 CLE.
Time for a quick score to get back into this. With CD uncharacteristically
subdued, Akili puts the team on his shoulders and starts to carry them
downfield. With trouble coming from everywhere on 3rd and 5 just outside our 30,
he pulls the ball down and runs for his life, sliding for an 11-yard gain. The
Oranges really are playing some fierce defence, though, and we rapidly find
ourselves stuck in a 3rd and 14 situation... Akili drops back, waits, waits...
Peter Warrick steals the half-yard he needs... and Smith’s hit as he throws, the
ball cannons off the defender and falls to the ground... no whistle. No whistle?
No whistle... The ball’s recovered by Cleveland, of course, it’s returned inside
our 10, of course, I launch my red flag in the direction of a zebra’s head, of
course, the replay shows as clear as day that Akili’s arm was going forward, of
course, and out comes the ref to announce that the ruling on the field...
stands. Of course. Our defence, though, is almost as outraged as I am, and play
that way, knocking the Oranges back the way they came and forcing them to boot
the chip-shot field-goal – a definite moral victory. CIN 0-10 CLE.
Unfortunately, the last time I checked, the NFL didn’t count moral victories
toward the end-of-season record, so it’d probably be a good idea if we went out
there and tried to score a few non-moral points. And, for the first time, we’re
getting something going, Dillon grabbing a few yards here and there, Warrick
finding a little space to operate... 3rd and 2 at the Oranges 46, the ball gets
put in the hands of Pro-Bowl fullback Lorenzo Neal – who gets only 1. But we’re
two scores down, we’re on the road, we’ve two minutes ‘till the half and we
really, really need a change of momentum... Neal again. Stuffed again. Cough the
ball up on downs, and things really aren’t looking rosy for the tiger-striped
lads...
Our only hope is the D making something happen, and
to their credit, they give it their best shot, getting Cleveland to a 3rd and 2
situation, with still enough time on the clock for us to maybe do something if
we can get the ball back. The Oranges try the play-pass, a fake to Jackson, then
a dump-off to the tight end, Mike Petersen. The pass is right on the numbers,
but Petersen has to juggle to make the catch... and as the ball bobbles up,
rookie LOLB Aaron Hall dives in to snatch it right out of the tight end’s hands
for a wonderfully opportunistic interception. 1:31 left in the second quarter,
ball at our own 45. Out we come in my favourite 3-wide set, and immediately
Akili spots that the Oranges have put a linebacker to cover Speedy
Gonzales-alike Chad Johnson. The Cleveland linebackers are quick, but not –that-
quick, and Akili guns the ball into Chad for a pickup of 17. We hustle to the
line, and go again, Akili looking for Johnson once more... he’s covered by a
corner this time, 2nd year player Anthony Henry, but he’s still gotten open...
or at least, he would have been open had Henry not mugged him while the ball was
in the air. Yellow flies, the zebras pace off the penalty, 1st and 10 at the
Orange 27. Three-wide again, and go again... Peter Warrick gets half a yard
dragging across the field, and Akili puts everything he’s got on the pass...
Anthony Henry, trying to make up for the penalty, makes a play on the ball,
misses it by inches and that’s the closest any Cleveland defender gets to
Warrick as he puts the hammer down and outruns everyone to stretch over the
corner of the endzone and finally, finally, get us on the board. CIN 7-10 CLE,
just over a minute to play in the half.
They’re going to march up the field. Of course they
are. Everyone always does. Everyone always marches up the field to steal a score
from us in the last few seconds of the first half, you can set your watch by it.
As inevitable as death and taxes... Here it comes... What do you mean, three and
out? The Oranges have to punt, and lying in wait is their nemesis, the main
player in the now-infamous Ohio Oh-My-God-I-Don’t-Believe-What-Just-Happened...
Pro-Bowl special teamer Jonathon “Scarecrow” Crane. Up it goes, down it comes at
around our 40, the coverage is good... but not good enough. Crane zig-zags
through would-be tacklers, finds a lane, pins his ears back and goes... and he’s
clean through, with only the punter to beat! And he’s... he’s... he’s brought
down by the punter. Boo. But it’s a 44-yard return, 53 ticks left with the ball
on the Orange 16 – it’s CD time. 4 rushes grind the clock and serve to give us
our first lead of the game. Cleveland get the ball back with 4 seconds left, but
Couch’s desperate Hail Mary is picked off by backup safety Hugh Langham, and
we’ve gotten to the half ahead and, more importantly, with everyone in one
piece. Half-time, CIN 14-10 CLE.
-
Well, that would seem to satisfy the dictates of
honour, and it’s wholesale changes for the second half – out come Akili Smith,
Corey Dillon and Peter Warrick, in come Michael Bishop, Adam Smith and Jason
Harris. Chad Johnson stays in, to help him work his way back into a groove after
such a long layoff, but will only see action as a third wideout. I consider
pulling a few of my defensive starters, too, but decide to give them a couple
more series so that it doesn’t look like we’re completely throwing in the towel
on this game.
Which we are, of course.
Our re-tooled offence was always going to need some time to adjust and find its
feet, so it’s no great surprise when we start the second half going
three-and-out, Adam Smith making no headway at all against this stiff Orange
defence, and Bishop looking nervous in the pocket. We punt the ball away, and
Cleveland finally, finally get a big play – Willie Middlebrooks playing the
ball, not his man, and tight-end Ricky Dudley making the catch and taking off
downfield. He hurdles safety Lamont Thompson, but he’s had to slow to do so,
which gives flippin’ everywhere MLB Brian Simmons a chance to get back and make
a play, and he does – hammering Dudley so hard he’s lucky his fillings didn’t
pop loose along with the ball. Middlebrooks falls on the fumble, grateful for a
chance to make up for his error, and it’s 1st and 10 at our 21. 3 plays later
it’s 4th and 10 at our 21, and Nick Harris shanks his second punt of the day,
just to make it absolutely clear that the defence can expect no help whatsoever
from either of the other units this afternoon. With a collective sigh, and a
collective “well, if no-one else is going to do their jobs”, the D goes in and
stops the Oranges cold, forcing them to punt despite excellent field-position.
We run out the third quarter by keeping the ball up the jersey – Adam Smith
runs, Michael Bishop makes little rinky-dink passes, and we slowly make our way
to the Cleveland 40, where, on 4th and 9, punter Nick Harris throws a pick
looking for Takeo Spikes (!) on the fake punt. Maybe we can hang on to the lead,
maybe we can’t, but there’s a bigger picture here, and I yank half our starting
defence – Spikes, Simmons, Aaron Hall, Justin Smith, Middlebrooks, Jon Crane –
so as to be absolutely sure that they’ll be available for the playoffs.
Challenged to show me what they’ve got, the backups show me alright, Cleveland
going 70 yards in an awful hurry, James Jackson scoring the touchdown from close
range, and with a little under 4 minutes to play we’re behind again, CIN 14-17
CLE.
I don’t know what you’re going to do, but do it fast – the play-action finds
last-good-reciever-on-the-field Chad Johnson in a ton of space for a 33-yard
catch-and-run. Two plays later, Bishop floats a pass into Lorenzo Neal’s waiting
hands, and the fullback runs over a couple of would-be tacklers and picks up a
24 yard gain, 1st and goal at the Orange 6. Play-pass again, but nothing’s
doing, and Bishop hangs on to the ball too long waiting for something to
happen... sack. Fumble. Game pretty much over.
Game very much over 3 plays later, when James “No Breakaway Speed” Jackson goes
75 yards for the icing touchdown... the Orange fans can’t get their hearts into
the taunting, though, not only because it’s obvious that their win came over our
second-string, but also because news comes in that the Ravens have won their
last game as well to take the second wild-card spot and put Cleveland out of the
playoffs. Mwa-ha! Final score CIN 14-24 CLE, our season mark ending at 13-3, a
game (and a moral victory) clear of anyone else in the AFC.
It’ll do. It’ll do.
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(c) daniel roe 2003
